Tuesday, 6 January 2015

Hello? Hello?

The dangers of being self-employed and working from home... The other day I had various spam callers pretending I was entitled to money "from my car insurance claim". I used some of the classic methods:

  • Asking to be put through to [fake name] on extension [fake number] - "He told me you would ring, and said I should speak only to him". (Play with this for a while, causes them lots of confusion as they make up excuses about the fictional contact not being in work that day etc).
  • Whenever they give a long spiel wait until the end, then say, "Sorry, the line is bad, can you repeat that please?" Do this 2-5 times. Check email while they talk.
  • Say you need to go to another room for a better signal. Put the phone down and do something else for a minute.
  • Say you need to get the paperwork from downstairs, put the receiver down on the desk, play a level of Kingdom Rush so they can hear all the little barbarians and wizards blowing each other up. I managed to leave the caller for about four minutes and they were still on the line when I finished the level (I got a perfect, three stars to spend on upgrades) and picked up the receiver again.
  • After all that I said: "Sorry, I've just remembered: I don't own a car, and have never had one. I use public transport or cycle." Then hang up.
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